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Global Leadership Speaker and Premier Work-Life Balance Speaker
Speaking Information at (727) 467-0202 or e-mail info@fawngermer.com

Archive for August 2014

On Adversity: You Never Know How Close You are to Turning the Corner (Until You Turn the Corner)

Winston Churchill once said, “If you are going through hell, keep going.” Well, who wants to go through hell? Nobody. But the greatest learning and growth almost always comes when you push through a series of obstacles that take you to the brink.

Dealing With Adversity

The truth is that it can be as hard to quit as it is to persevere. Both options require a different kind of courage, but the end result and growth experience are very, very different. In one experience, you feel loss. In the other, you feel victory. Sometimes the victory is just one of endurance — that you hung in there long enough to see things through, even if things didn’t turn out as you expected.

But, quitting, that takes some work. You have to figure out when you are going to quit and how. Sometimes, all you need is to give yourself permission to quit in order to find the energy to keep pushing through a difficult experience. So, delay quitting until the very last minute. Hang in there as long as you possibly can.

How do you find the courage to stand in the pain and take one more step?  Where does that  strength come from? How far deep within you do you have to go? It is painful, but the pain is just part of getting through life’s obstacles. You keep moving forward until you suddenly realize you’ve made it. You’ve accomplished something that you thought was completely impossible.

You never know when you are going to turn the corner until you actually turn the corner, so just keep moving forward and start dealing with adversity.

Bestselling author Fawn Germer is popular worldwide for her inspiring keynotes. She has credibility because she has interviewed more than 300 famous leaders for their strategies and tips. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

 

Let Go of Your Bitterness and Move On

Let Go of Your Bitterness and Move On

“Forgiveness is a gift that you give to yourself.” Author unknown, but what a great quote.

When you have been let down, betrayed or otherwise wronged by someone, it is so easy to lose days, months — even years — to your bitterness.

Who is that punishing? The other person? Or YOU?

That boss who really stuck it to you hasn’t lost that kind of energy worrying that you are mad. That “friend” who betrayed you isn’t fretting about what he or she did to slight you.

And yet, there you are, feeling victimized and angry because you never got a proper apology, any remorse or any sort of emotional compensation for your suffering. You try to move on, but it is so hard to let go because what happened was wrong.You expect a little justice and fairness out of life, and while you know you probably aren’t going to get it from the system of work, government and community, you do expect it from people with whom you interact.

If you are good to others, they’re suppose to be good to you. Right?

But some people are not good to you. Or their perspective is different and they actually think they are being good to you, even though you don’t see it that way. Sometimes, others victimize you by doing what, in their hearts, they think is right.

You have two choices. You can wallow in what happened and stay bitter, or you can let go of your bitterness and move on.

Seriously forgive.

Forgive like a saint.

Because what you are doing is freeing yourself to let go of that negative energy and move on. You are taking your life back.

Use the affirmation: “I forgive (insert name) unconditionally as a gift to myself. I have moved on.” The more you say it, the more you will believe it.

And as you come to embrace that belief, you will let go of your bitterness and move on.

What a gift.

Fawn Germer is an internationally acclaimed leadership speaker and bestselling author. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

Conquering Your Huge Challenges

Conquering Your Huge Challenges

You need to lose 20 pounds. Or 40 or 60 or 100 pounds. It is so discouraging to look at a huge challenge and find the energy to begin when you know the road you are going to have to travel is long and arduous.

Then again, every journey always begins with what? The first step. (Don’t groan.) And, have you ever noticed that you almost always feel better by just taking that step? You may need to lose 50 pounds, but you feel lighter once you’ve lost the first one.

Just start.

 Yes, deciding to change your life is a big deal, but that decision does not become real until you actually take that first step.

Don’t freak yourself out by focusing on how huge and overwhelming your goal is. Focusing on losing five pounds is a lot less intimidating than focusing on the hundred pounds that have to go. And setting your mind to taking and completing one course is much less stressful than focusing on four years of classes that you need in order to get your degree.

Figure out your steps and then start moving forward. You’ll feel better when you take that first step to conquering your huge challenges — but you have got to take it.

Bestselling author Fawn Germer is popular worldwide for her inspiring keynotes. She is recognized as one of the premier experts on work-life balance. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

 

 

When Everything Falls Apart… Walk Away. (For a Little While)

When Everything Falls Apart

The next time you have a day when the universe is messing with your fortitude– when everything falls apart, pack it in and move along for the day. Why hang around to miss some more when you have been swinging the bat and missing all day?  Sometimes you just need to walk away. Breathe.

This does not mean quit. It means walk away. Decompress. Do something you enjoy. Connect with people you care about. Pray. Do something that makes you happy. Recharge yourself so that, come morning, you have the energy to dig in and make things happen again.

For example, a deal falls through. And then another. Then your pen leaks on your suit. Then you get a flat tire.

At some point, you have just got to get up and walk away. It’s not going to get any better. It may not get better for awhile, but if you go home, get on your bicycle or go for a walk or kiss a baby or do something that can ground you in your “real” life, you will be able to shed some of that ick that has attached itself to you.

Be with the blessings that you count. Breathe in what is good with your life and your frustration will magically level off so you are prepared to dive back in and create success the next day.

Fawn Germer is one of North America’s most sought after speakers on leadership and performance. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

Stop Commiserating With Negative People

Stop Commiserating with Negative People

Misery may love company, but that kind of company just makes you more miserable. So, stop commiserating with negative people! If you are feeling yourself being sucked under, one of the worst things you can do is start commiserating with someone else who is feeling the same despair. Unless the two of you are committed to being positive 99 percent of the time, you will feed on each other’s negativity and your morale will collapse entirely.

When you are facing difficulties, surround yourself with people who have the energy and perspective that will lift you out of the mire. You know who they are. They are the glass-full people who don’t focus on what’s wrong, but rather, what is right. They are the hopelessly positive people who see obstacles and know they will find a way.

If you are so negative that you can’t appreciate their positivity, ask yourself why. Are you too cynical to embrace that perspective? You can choose that energy, but why would you? Positive people generate positive results. They are more successful. They are happier. Negative people get negative results. They battle everything and must carry the heavy weight of all that is wrong with the world. Why would you choose that?

Stop commiserating with negative people! Suspend the negativity and really think about what you want to attract into your life. If it is happiness and success, then what kind of friends are going to help you create that for yourself? Dark and negative people who fixate on their obstacles and can’t stop talking about what they are afraid of or what’s wrong? Or happy and successful people who know they are facing obstacles but have confidence that they will find a way around them?

Bestselling Oprah author Fawn Germer has personally interviewed more famous leaders than any other leadership speaker. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

When Friends Let You Down: Friendship is Not a Quid Pro Quo Experience

When Friends Let You Down

Sometimes you give and give and give to your friends. And when it is your turn to get, you get nothing- that’s when friends let you down.

We’ve all had friends who has called us in a time of need. We’ve been there to listen. To offer a place to stay. To help in an emergency. We are good friends. Great friends. The kind of friend we want for the day when it is our turn to need help.

But then something happens to us and that person who needed and took so much vanishes. He or she doesn’t even call to check on us. How can someone who took so much give so little?

It is infuriating, but it is just a way of life. Friendship is not a quid pro quo experience. Even though you should be able to count on your friends to be there when you need them, they don’t always show up. Some people take more than they give. Some people can’t give at all. Should you dump them when they aren’t there for you? Maybe you should. That’s your call.

But when you start to feel down about the situation, start paying attention to the friends who are showing up. It is amazing that friends you never expected to be there for you are suddenly stepping in and helping. They are the givers.

Sometimes, you can give and give and give to one person, but when it is your turn to get, you get a real blessing from someone else. It’s not who you expected, but you suddenly found who your great, true friends are. It’s not the friend you expected, but someone even better.

Bestselling Oprah author Fawn Germer is defined by her hard won wisdom. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or writeinfo@fawngermer.com.

 

Tell People What You Need

Tell People What You Need

Most people want to be good friends, partners and colleagues. They don’t want to hurt you, but there will be times when they do. You may be in crisis and a close friend will completely tune out and forget. Or not know what to say. Of course you would prefer him or her to always be there to anticipate and deliver on all your needs, but human beings are fallible. They have perspectives that may  be very different from yours. Don’t set others up to disappoint you. Tell people what you need instead of grousing when they fall short.

People generally deliver what they assume they’d want in your situation. Or they think they are delivering when they are falling short.

You don’t want to jump up and down and say, “Look, I need you to do this for me!” but sometimes you have to. Some people are a little thick. For example, you may be grieving your divorce. A close friend may be nowhere in sight. You may have to call up and say, “I’m having a tough time, I need you to get me out of the house.”

Those people who can anticipate your needs are real treasures, but don’t discard those people who need a little help in being good to you. If you ask for help and don’t get it, well, that’s another matter. But, most people want to be there for you. Give them the chance to do right by you.

Don’t set them up to disappoint you. Just tell people what you need.

Fawn Germer is an internationally acclaimed leadership speaker and bestselling author. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.