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Global Leadership Speaker and Premier Work-Life Balance Speaker
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Archive for August 2017

Clearing the Clutter

You don’t lose fifty pounds in two weeks. You lose them one pound at a time. You don’t begin a fitness regiment by running  a marathon. You run a mile or two. counteracts lipitor

So don’t stare at the prospect of de-stressing and re-building your life by expecting to change everything by midnight tonight. It’s too intimidating. You are who you are. You may want changes, but those changes can’t – and won’t – happen in an instant.

The one thing I have seen repeatedly in people who face daunting challenges is that they often won’t try because the situation seems to big and hard to conquer. They think they must do it all and fix it all – at once, and that’s too hard so they just don’t bother and settle for the status quo.

I know a very bright young woman who had a child when she was 17 and wound up cleaning houses. By the time she hit her 30s, she was convinced that she could have nothing more for her life. She blamed it on foolish choices in her youth, but I told her that the foolish choices continued every time she chose inaction over action. She wanted to be a nurse, but the prospect of going to nursing school was too overwhelming, especially since she’d be doing it while dealing with life as a single parent with very little income.

I told her about a man I interviewed at a college graduation. He started his studies as a young father and it took him ten years to get that bachelor’s degree. He did it one class at a time. It didn’t matter what was going on in his life, he always had one class in progress to move him forward toward his ultimate goal. And, he achieved it.

You don’t have to fix everything in one day. If you think you do, you will be tempted not to fix anything. Just take small steps.

Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizations about courages and creative leadership strategies.

Excuses

I am so over people making excuses of why they can’t do something. Let’s look at some of the excuses people use, and see how ridiculous they really are.

Excuse: You’re too old.

Bull.

Grandma Moses didn’t start painting American folk art until her late 70s. S. I. Hayakawa didn’t get elected to the U.S. Senate until he was 70.  When Golda Meir was elected prime minister of Israel, she was 71. George Burns didn’t win an Academy Award until he was 80. George Brunstad was 70 when he swam the English Channel. Mario Curnis climbed the 29,035-foot summit of Mount Everest when he was 66. Cardinal Angelo Roncalli became Pope John XXIII when he was 76 and called Vatican II. George Selbach scored a 110-yard hole-in-one at age 96.

Excuse: You lack the education to do something. for prices avodart

Right.

Among those who never earned college diplomas: Bill Gates, Maya Angelou, Larry Ellison, Jane Goodall, Michael Dell,  Quentin Tarantino, David Geffen, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Thomas Edison, Woody Allen, Carl Bernstein, Eleanor Roosevelt, Ray Bradbury, Estee Lauder, Richard Branson, Agatha Christie, James Cameron, Grover Cleveland, Walter Cronkite, Muriel Siebert, Harry Truman, Abraham Lincoln and George Washington. In addition, Peter Jennings and John D. Rockefeller never got their high school diplomas.

Excuse: You come from the wrong side of the tracks. You were raised poor.

So were Oprah Winfrey, Benjamin Franklin, Malcolm X, Jackie Joyner-Kersey, George Orwell, Charles Dickens, Elvis Presley, Roseanne Barr, Gloria Steinem, Shania Twain, Truman Capote and millions of other successful people.

Excuse: You’re disabled.

Tom  Cruise (dyslexia), Patty Duke (bipolar), Stephen Hawking (Lou Gehrig’s disease), Magic Johnson (HIV), Marlee Matlin (deaf), Itzhak Perlman (paralyzed from polio), Franklin Roosevelt (paralyzed from polio),

Excuse: You’re too fat.

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What about Winston Churchill, Marlon Brando, Elvis, Aretha Franklin, Oliver Hardy, B.B. King, Luciano Pavarotti, Orson Wells and Presidents Teddy Roosevelt, William Howard Taft and Ulysses S. Grant? Don’t forget Santa Claus.

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We use excuses to talk ourselves out of trying for promotions we think we can’t get. We use them to stay in jobs and relationships and circumstances that we don’t even like. We use them to put off furthering our education, starting fitness programs, moving, losing weight, building relationships and doing those things that put us in our discomfort zones. Excuses don’t count. Results do.

Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizations about courages and creative leadership strategies. rocaltrol

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Our Own Limits

Sometimes we do hit the wall of our own limits, and some excuses do count. I want to sell ten million copies of this book, but I can’t make ten million people buy it. All I can do is write the best book I can, and work like heck to promote it. I may have wanted to win a Pulitzer Prize when I was a reporter, but all I could control was that I would do Pulitzer-quality work. I got four nominations, but never the prize.

If you want to act, you can’t assure yourself that you will win an Academy Award. All you can do study, practice, and prepare yourself to perform at an Oscar-quality level. If you want to be CEO of General Motors, you can only control that you have the knowledge, finesse and ability of someone who would ascend to that position.

You might want to do an Ironman Triathlon, but your knees won’t let you run at all. Some excuses count. But again, not many.

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For almost every challenge we encounter, there are a multitude of excuses that give us a pass to walk away. Maybe they make us feel better, but excuses are just cop-outs for choosing that which appears easy of something that poses difficulty. Deep inside, we know that. But we use them anyhow.

Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizations about courages and creative leadership strategies. download her alibi free

Change Your Life

If you are going to change your life, really look at what you are up against and split the challenges into stages that you can knock off one or two at a time. I know. How can you dream huge dreams while still grounding yourself with your own human limits? Sounds like quite a contradiction, but it’s not. What I am suggesting is that you dream huge dreams, but pace yourself.

Make the decision – really make the decision, and make those goals become reality. Once you have some momentum, add to your list. Do more. And more. The more you do, the more you will be able to do at one time.

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Don’t fool yourself into thinking you have such superhuman stamina, willpower and determination that you can accomplish everything, all at once. But, don’t use that reality to talk you out of striving for goals that seem out of reach. Again, it’s pacing. Set a course for you that will push you and make you stretch, but don’t set one that will kill you.

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Connect Carefully: Friendship and Betrayal in the Workplace

I once asked my now ex-husband if he wanted to go out for dinner with the girls. “No thanks,” he said. “You all get together and talk about things like … growth.”

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Well, yeah. That’s the beauty of being a woman. We connect. We get to know each other deeply and we support each other in our personal and professional networks. Is there anything more validating than glancing at a friend and seeing that she has picked up on your sudden feeling of frustration or anger doubt – without you having to even say a word? cytoxan abana realty

I would never have had the courage to conquer my obstacles without my friends cheering and pushing me from the sidelines. But, I have to admit I have trusted a few women who never deserved that trust. This is a stumbling block for many, many women in professional environments.

Sometimes our willingness to so freely connect makes us vulnerable. If I stand in front of an audience and ask, “How many of you have been stabbed in the back by another woman?” almost every hand will go up. I usually follow-up by asking, “How many of you confronted the woman?” Only a few hands will rise. seroquel

That is the downside to our connections. Some of us trust too easily and reveal too much, which can put us in extremely vulnerable positions – especially if we award our trust in a competitive work environment. We expect more from women because we feel like we give more. When we are hurt by another woman, we are often too hurt or afraid to look her in the eye and ask for an explanation or say that we didn’t like it.

It seems easier to grouse about it with other co-workers than it does to go directly to the source of the conflict and say, “Why did you do that?” But, when we say nothing, we condone the betrayal. Confrontation is tricky business and should be handled as diplomatically as possible. The person must know you are watching so it doesn’t happen again. You don’t want to be messed with. You aren’t a victim.

Network and connect freely, but be careful who you count as your friend. The friends you have are priceless. Just know who they really are and learn to connect carefully.