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Discovering her mother, discovering herself

I am getting more than 100 e-mails a day and am really behind. Yesterday, I found this lovely note and photo from my friend, Dianne Williams. I have to share it with you…

“Even in death, she’s teaching me lessons about life. Fawn, your beautiful story led me to write a slightly different one. Unlike your relationship, my mother and I were not very close for most of our lives together. Neither of us would ever eat cat food as long as the other drew breath, but at a heart level we struggled to find common ground. Now, a little over a month after her passing, I wrestle with what I learned from her, and what I will carry with me through the rest of my journey. First, I learned to have long term health care insurance! The second lesson will require more effort than the first. That lesson is that I’ll be happier if I live my whole life.

“As I sorted through old pictures and documents that I had never seen, I met a different woman than the one I knew. I found her signatures as president of several women’s organizations, her picture standing strong and resolute in front of a state office building, and a letter from a U. S. Representative, thanking her for her community service. Who is this woman, I wondered? Who is this part of her I never met? I’m not sure when my mother just took a seat and sat down in her life or why, but my own life offers clues. Did she get immersed in the day-to-day “administrivia” of living? Did she pour all her energy into someone else’s future? Did she get bumped around once or twice by failure and decide to stop trying? Will I? I pray that the answer is no, and fortunately I have something she didn’t have. I have the perspective of her life to guide me – perhaps to warn me. Thank you mother for the sacrifices you made for me and for all the lessons you taught me, even these last ones. I’ll do my best to live all the days I am given, to be true to who I was born to be, and make us both proud.”

I am proud to know Dianne. She is such a gift in my life and I am happy to share her with you.

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