Subscribe
Global Leadership Speaker and Premier Work-Life Balance Speaker
Speaking Information at (727) 467-0202 or e-mail info@fawngermer.com

Blog

Tell People What You Need

Tell People What You Need

Most people want to be good friends, partners and colleagues. They don’t want to hurt you, but there will be times when they do. You may be in crisis and a close friend will completely tune out and forget. Or not know what to say. Of course you would prefer him or her to always be there to anticipate and deliver on all your needs, but human beings are fallible. They have perspectives that may  be very different from yours. Don’t set others up to disappoint you. Tell people what you need instead of grousing when they fall short.

People generally deliver what they assume they’d want in your situation. Or they think they are delivering when they are falling short.

You don’t want to jump up and down and say, “Look, I need you to do this for me!” but sometimes you have to. Some people are a little thick. For example, you may be grieving your divorce. A close friend may be nowhere in sight. You may have to call up and say, “I’m having a tough time, I need you to get me out of the house.”

Those people who can anticipate your needs are real treasures, but don’t discard those people who need a little help in being good to you. If you ask for help and don’t get it, well, that’s another matter. But, most people want to be there for you. Give them the chance to do right by you.

Don’t set them up to disappoint you. Just tell people what you need.

Fawn Germer is an internationally acclaimed leadership speaker and bestselling author. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

Live Now

Live Now

Most people walk through life with their eyes closed. They show up for their day as if they had an unlimited number of healthy days to live and they put off doing the things they love the most. They are scared to live now!

You’ve got to make a living, but you aren’t living if your work consumes your opportunities for joy. You don’t get an unlimited number of days to do the fun stuff and the day will come when things will change. People you love will get sick, or you will get sick. Your body will wear out and you just won’t be able to do the things you always meant to do.

Why aren’t you doing those things right now? Dive into your day. Consciously live it. Smell the fresh air. Feel the sun on your face. Talk to people you love and enjoy hearing the sound of their voices. Enjoy your health. Feel gratitude. Let yourself be happy.

And when you are at your work, take a moment to just enjoy what you are doing. The hubbub. The challenge. The opportunity. Because, even your routine won’t be yours to enjoy forever.

There is a saying that “These are the good old days.” Live them now.

Bestselling author Fawn Germer is popular worldwide for her inspiring keynotes. She is recognized as one of the premier experts on work-life balance. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

 

Stop Seeking 100% Approval

Stop Seeking 100% Approval

There is a great quote widely attributed to Abe Lincoln: “You can please all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all the time.” Actually, the Lincoln quote switches the word “fool” for “please.” But, this is a blog on wisdom and empowerment. We don’t need to talk about fooling others. We do need to talk about how much energy we lose by endlessly trying to please others. We need to stop  seeking 100% approval!

You can get praise from 99 people in a room, and criticism from the 100th. Which words are you going to remember most? Are you going to over-analyze the praise or pick apart and struggle with the criticism?

This is a hard lesson. You are not going to make everybody happy. You may be the most spectacularly wonderful person alive and, still, some people are going to think (or vent) bad things about you. In fact, some of the people who should love you will actually detest you — even though you have done nothing to deserve their ire. Sometimes it is jealousy. Sometimes it is the need to be a critical voice on every little thing. Sometimes people are just nasty.

Haters will just hate others and endlessly spew their hatred. If you get some undeserved criticism, hold your head up and keep moving forward.

You aren’t going to score with everybody.

You just aren’t.

You can either wallow in it or carry on. Criticism is a good thing when it is well-intentioned and constructive. Listen to it, and use what is helpful. But realize that there is an awful lot of criticism out there that serves no purpose other than to hurt or hinder others. You don’t need it, and you are free to ignore it.

Fawn Germer is one of North America’s most sought after speakers on leadership and performance. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

Stop Settling: Expect More for Yourself

Stop Settling

You’re in love. Sort of. You like your job. Kind of. You can’t have it all, or at least you keep telling yourself that, and if what you have isn’t all that bad, what’s the problem? Well, it’s not all that good, either. So, stop settling!

Settling is a disease that minimizes possibility for people who deserve better, but don’t have the courage to demand it. Just about everybody settles for something at one point or another, but when you look at where you are — really look at it — and catch yourself thinking, “It could be way worse,” you are settling for something that could likely be way, way better.

You’ve seen people in truly fabulous relationships, but most people don’t have that kind of deep, enduring, best-friend kind of love so you make do with an average relationship. Many people settle for average because they think it beats the hell out of being alone. But, maybe it doesn’t. And maybe the decision to stop settling and start learning to be alone is the first step toward finding a true, enduring love.

The same thing goes for your job. If you are reluctant to start sending resumes out and deal with the whole indignity of job hunting, you settle for work that is good, not great. But a lot of people find their calling and real fulfillment by going for broke and daring to find something that is great, not just good. Why not you?

Are you settling? How’s that working for you?

Bestselling author Fawn Germer is popular worldwide for her inspiring keynotes. She is recognized as one of the premier experts on work-life balance. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

 

Stop Being So Quick to Judge

Stop being so quick to judge

You’ve heard how important it is not to judge a book by its cover, yet all of us do it all the time. You see something that doesn’t fit with your concept of acceptability and give it a label. You can judge others by gender, weight, height, race, sexual orientation, friends, class, education, title, teeth, financial holdings. You can judge someone by the car he or she drives, hair color, home, neighborhood, relatives, political affiliation, favorite television shows, domestic abilities, and so much more. What good does that do you? Stop being so quick to judge!

Sometimes, you let your judgment completely color (and taint) your perspective on someone who doesn’t meet your standards. You don’t like the person, so you don’t listen to the person. Granted, there are people you aren’t going to want to hang with, but there is usually something in every person that you can learn from or enjoy. Before you judge so severely that you write someone off, open your heart and look for the good.

True, there are some people who live lives that are completely without merit – but there aren’t a lot of them.

We all judge, but we should not judge too harshly.

Judgment is a barrier to connection and communication. You may be missing out on good people – or, at least, different perspectives that may be of value. When you step outside of yourself and look at who and how you are judging, you may have to take a minute to judge yourself and ask if your judgments are adding depth to your life or taking meaning away.

Fawn Germer is one of North America’s most sought after speakers on leadership and performance. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

Use a Stop Prompt

Use a Stop Prompt

There is so much in life that, when you think about it, will leave you bewildered, exasperated or confused. Life provides you endless opportunities to overthink problems or situations, but you have the power to use an “instant intervention” technique that will move your thoughts right along. It’s really simple, too. Use a stop prompt.

When you catch yourself going deep on a subject that you will never fully understand or fix, just say, “STOP.” And move on to another topic.

That is what you can do when you catch yourself fixating on something that is not going to resolve itself with deep concentration or endless fretting. You always have the option to repeat some affirmations to change the subject, but a quick “STOP” jolt to the brain is often all you need to free yourself.

Say you catch yourself trying to figure out why a mean person is mean. At some point, you realize you will never get the answer, yet you continue to try to figure it out because that person has hurt you for no good reason. Try a “STOP” jolt. Or you start worrying about something you can’t control. “STOP.” Or you start obsessing about policy or politics or numbers or rules that you can’t change or control. Say “STOP.” Your brain eventually learns to respect “STOP” prompts and frees you to think about something that really deserves your attention.

Fawn Germer is an internationally acclaimed leadership speaker and bestselling author. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

Leave the Party Early

Party

There’s the world’s winningest coach who won’t leave the field until he gets fired because of a losing record. Or the guest who never leaves. There isn’t much difference. You always want to leave people wanting a little more, so timing is everything. Be conscious of it and leave the party early.

It may seem contrived or calculating, but it is the truth. If you are the last one to go, you’ve stayed too long. It is the same issue whether you are talking about leaving a party or retiring after years of service. You always gain more when people want more. So be conscious of what is going on around you.

As you age into your career, consciously make yourself relevant by learning new things and delivering better than anybody else. When you reach the point where you know you probably “should” think about moving on or retiring, you should think ask yourself three questions:

1.    Are you delivering your best performance?

2.    Is that performance enough for you to remain viable, valuable and appreciated in your current situation?

3.    Does it matter to you to leave on a high note?

If it doesn’t matter to you how you go out, then hang around as long as you want to hang around. But if that high note matters, always consider your timing.

Leave when they still want more. That’s how legends are built.

Bestselling Oprah author Fawn Germer has personally interviewed more famous leaders than any other leadership speaker. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

A Healthy Body is a Beautiful Body

A Healthy Body is a Beautiful Body

We have so much control over our self-esteem, yet most of us invite negativity to move into our brains and drag us down. Isn’t it interesting that most of our self-esteem issues are rooted in our own personal attacks on our physical appearance? We get stuck on our weight, our skin, our hair, our height, the size of our breasts, the size of our feet — whatever. Most of us look in the mirror and see room for improvement for our body. LOTS of room for improvement.

That negativity is so destructive. And it is false. You can look at the best looking woman in the room and you can just about bet that she’s said some pretty ugly things to herself today. Sure, you’d take her body or her hair or her eyes or whatever, but she sees the tiny zit on her forehead and nothing else.

If you are healthy, you have a perfect body.

PERFECT.

If you doubt that, imagine how you would feel about your body if you suddenly were diagnosed with cancer? You’d want your old, flawed, healthy body back in an instant. You would suddenly realize how good you had it, even though you’d been beating yourself up for your imperfections despite your perfect health.

It is time to wrap yourself in a self-appreciation because negativity makes your body an unhealthy host. Negativity attract stress and illness. If your body works, it is perfect. It will let you live well and explore the world. It will let you enjoy so much.

Why not appreciate it?

Why not thank your body for getting you where you need to go? Because, a healthy body is truly a beautiful thing. Appreciate it while you have it.

Bestselling Oprah author Fawn Germer has personally interviewed more famous leaders than any other leadership speaker. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

You Can Travel Easy or You Can Travel Hard. Shed the Stress.

Travel Easy

Life works better when you respect your internal speed limit. You can try to cram as much as you can into your day, or you can dial it back a couple of notches and make a conscious decision to reduce your stress by not having to accomplish everything.

Think about what you are like when you are in a huge hurry, racing your car well above the speed limit so you can get things done. You feel the stress in your shoulders. You know you are risking a speeding ticket and perhaps endangering your life and the lives of others. You have got to get to the next thing because the world will end if you don’t.

Or will it? Think about how your stress level goes down when you just slow down to the speed limit. So what if you lose ten minutes? Your day will be better. You will perform better. Others will appreciate you because you are not emitting a current of tension.

Travel easy. Pay extra for the direct flight. Skip unnecessary meetings or visits. Make decisions that give you time to live, time to rest. Take the pressure off of yourself so you can better enjoy your life while performing better at work.

Fawn Germer is one of North America’s most sought after speakers on leadership and performance. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

 

 

Control Your Worrying: Taking Charge Over Your Stress Points

There is a wonderful cliche that says 90 percent of the things you worry about will never happen. No one can actually measure that, but it’s probably true. We live in a culture of worry. No wonder it is so easy to become consumed by it.

How can you get it under control?

Schedule your worries. Just give yourself a good 30 to 40 minutes a day to dig in and worry hard about the things that need your attention. Then, shut it down until your next worry session.

If you are getting a massage, that is no time to be fretting about finances, conference calls or Valentine’s that didn’t come. It is a time to tune out. So you tell yourself, “I already did my worry session for today. I’ll have to worry about this tomorrow.” It works.

Also, try to focus on one thing at a time. Multiple worry lines can make you a crazy person. They also send you into a worry loop where your perception distorts your reality.

It is only natural to worry. But you don’t have to let your worries own you.

Bestselling Oprah author Fawn Germer has personally interviewed more famous leaders than any other leadership speaker. To check availability for motivational speaking keynotes or workshops, or for information on life and executive coaching sessions, call (727) 467-0202 or write info@fawngermer.com.

Page 10 of 33« First...89101112...2030...Last »